Where do we go from here...

It's 10:30 pm on Christmas night and I'm sitting upstairs, alone with my thoughts.  Miss Elizabeth has gone downstairs for a well deserved bath and bed as she is exhausted from the events of the past few weeks.  Not from the anticipation of the arrival of our family for the holidays, and not from the hustle and bustle of shopping, wrapping presents, and decorating the house.  No, this year the Holiday preparation has taken a backseat to more pressing needs.

When the parents' health begins to fail it changes everything, and it hits especially hard around the Holidays.

Everywhere you look there is joy and laughter, children anxiously anticipating Christmas morning, and all that goes with this festive time of the year.  But, when your own heart is laden with sadness, the festivities seem to ring hollow.

This year the concerns for Elizabeth and her sister, Donna, have been with her parents, both elderly, and both with the difficulties that often come with advancing years.  They are still in their own home, but recent events have impacted their ability to do the basic things needed to continue living there without assistance. The two daughters are both nurses and well qualified to deal with the medical decisions that are necessary, but they are also both daughters....who love their parents.  Where do we go from here?

Tough decisions await, and I've been there before. 

My mom passed away earlier this year after a long bout with Alzheimer's.....it was heartbreaking.

I've known my in-laws for nearly 45 years and they're like a second set of parents to me.  Selfishly, I don't want to go through this experience again, but I know God is in control and will guide us through what is to come.  On this day when we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, I pray to him for the strength to be there for Elizabeth and Donna.

The greatest pain one can experience is the pain of a loved one.

A sickness or a passion...you decide.

About twelve years ago I bought a 1969 Camaro for a Father/Son restoration project.  It was something my oldest son and I thought would be fun, and we dived right in.  Soon parts were strewn around the garage, old parts replaced with new parts, lots of modifications to the engine and drive train, and of course lots of canceled checks.

The car has been an on-again, off-again project for many years, with my son finally taking the reins to get it finished. And, now after three engines, completely new sheet metal, new paint, and new interior, it is nearing completion as a "brand new" 1969 Camaro.

But as they say, this wasn't my first rodeo, and I've owned many cars over the years. Just the other day I was talking to a friend about our first cars, and he asked me how many vehicles I had owned in my lifetime.....Don't know, never really thought about it.

Let's see if I can remember them all.

The first car I bought at age fifteen in 1967 was a 1957 Chevy Belair, and that's where the madness started.

1963 Chevy Impala SS 409CI, 4-Speed; 1964 Chevy Chevelle SS; 1967 Olds Cutlass Supreme; 1968 Triumph 650 Bonneville Motorcycle; 1971 Yamaha 250MX Motorcycle (yes, motorcycles count); 1972 Pontiac Ventura II; 1974 VW Super Beetle (first new car and first gas shortage); 1977 Chevy Scottsdale PU; 1978 Buick Regal Sport Turbo; 1967 Chevy Custom PU; 1981 Ford 4WD PU; 1982 Camaro Berlinetta; 1984 Buick Riviera; 1985 Jeep Cherokee; 1990 Nissan Maxima; 1992 Nissan Sentra SER; 1993 GMC 4WD PU; 1997 Toyota 4-Runner; 1969 Camaro; 2003 GMC 2500HD 4WD PU; 2007 GMC 4WDYukon; 2008 Polaris Ranger; and a 2008 Toyota FJ Cruiser!

Of course there were a few others during the time the boys started driving, a 1995 Jeep Wrangler, 1999 Mustang, then a replacement 1999 Mustang for the one that was wrecked.....all with my name on the title, but without my butt in the drivers seat.

As I look back at the list, each car or motorcycle elicits a memory about a different time or place in my life. The vehicles each had unique personality traits and quirks....and I suppose I do as well.  But, as I'm approaching the age of sixty, I think I've just about outgrown my passion for cars and motorcycles, but then again....I've had my eye on this really cool Porsche car.....you know like the Jerry Lee Lewis song Middle Age Crazy.

It may be a tough acquisition though as Miss Elizabeth has emphatically told me NO, something about it not being good on the gravel roads at the ranch.....but what does SHE know.

Integrity....it's a choice.

Tomorrow I will be attending an event where I will be introduced to a leadership program entitled Character First.  The program purports to teach companies, government organizations, non-profits, and even families how to introduce a "culture of integrity" to transform the decision making process.  Really!

I should probably wait until I've learned more about the program before commenting or making judgment regarding the content, however, one thing has me perplexed.  It's not that I don't wholeheartedly agree with trying to accomplish this feat.  In fact I think introducing the "culture of integrity" is a wonderful undertaking, and every business should operate with absolute integrity.

No, what has me perplexed is that any company, government organization, non-profit, or family should need to be taught such a basic tenet of life. 

Shouldn't integrity already be at the very heart and soul of every person, company, or family?  Shouldn't every decision we make already be based on whether or not it's morally and ethically correct?  And finally, if a person is not already living a life that's based on honesty, integrity, and trust can these traits be taught?  Most of us were introduced to these concepts at a very early age, and somewhere along the way made a conscious decision to either adopt them as our core values.....or not!

Successful businesses are built on relationships, and you cannot have strong relationships with your employees, your customers, your suppliers, or yes, even those who regulate your industry if they cannot have complete confidence that your word is as good as gold.  In other words, that you are a person of integrity, and your business operates in a manner that is beyond reproach.

It disturbs me greatly that in today's business environment we need to actually have a program teaching values that all of us should have acquired in kindergarten.....but as always, what do I know?

Simple pleasures...

Let's start with the premise that I see myself as a simple man.  It may or may not be true, but that's how I see it.  I enjoy the things that nature provides, like the playfulness of our two puppies, the mist rising above the pond on a frosty autumn morning, or when my horse nuzzles my jacket pocket looking for the apple wafer she usually finds hiding there.

I like coming inside with the aroma of chili or beef stew to welcome me home.  A fire crackling in the fireplace invites me to simply sit in the easy chair and let the stress of the day melt away. 

These simple pleasures bring joy to my life.

Relationships are also an important part of who I am, personal relationships, business relationships, lifelong friends, new found friends, and family.  Throughout my life it's those relationships that have nurtured and sustained me during the down times, helped me celebrate the good times, encouraged me to be the best I could be, and made me the person I am today....good or bad.

Valuable lessons were imparted not only by my parents, but also by teachers, coaches, bosses, subordinates, children, and of course Miss Elizabeth who has accompanied me on this journey for most of my life.  We met at age twelve, introduced by a mutual friend at the little league ball park, and have been together ever since.  Sometimes, there's just no reason to keep searching for the person who makes you whole, and she does that in every way.

Every now and then something happens that gives you pause and reminds you of just how fragile life is. Maybe it's the loss of a friend or family member, or maybe it's just a close call that gets you to thinking.

What if?

It's always been difficult for me to put into words how deeply I care for the people who are important in my life, so I rarely express those feelings.  Instead, I try every day to show it by my actions, even though I know that's not enough.

As we move toward Christmas and the anticipation of the New Year perhaps I can overcome that personal shortcoming.  No guarantee, but this year I'm going to strive to be a better husband, father, brother, and friend. Wish me luck on the journey......I think I'll need it.

The scent of money.....sorry Bambi.

In a couple of days this part of Kansas will be inundated with deer hunters from all over the country.  Southeast Kansas has become nationally known for its trophy deer population and hunters from far and wide will gather to test their skill, and luck, in taking home that perfect buck.  Not so good for the deer, but a real economic boon for my neighboring farmers and ranchers.

For years Chautauqua County has ranked near the bottom of the list when ranking the prosperity of the 105 counties in Kansas.  We have very little in the way of industry or other major employment possibilities.  Most of the 3000+ population survive by being entrepreneurs, and working a variety of jobs while striving to maintain a quality life in a beautiful area of rural Kansas.

The abundant deer population used to be nothing more than a nuisance to the farmers, then voila, supply met demand and a new industry was born.  For many years this resource was overlooked as a viable business opportunity, as landowners simply granted permission for folks to hunt on their land....no charge. Now it's a thriving segment of our rural economy and brings in a significant number of dollars.

Already this week I've visited with hunters from Arkansas, Delaware, South Carolina and Florida.  All of them require lodging, food, equipment, and places to hunt.  These are outside dollars being spent with our local merchants, landowners, and outfitters.  Some people have coined the word "agri-tourism" to describe  these new income producing opportunities, but it's basically entrepreneurs doing what entrepreneurs do, providing customers with what they want.

So what about the deer?  How do they feel about this whole "agri-tourism" idea?  I'm guessing they never had the opportunity to voice their opinion, and I suspect most would not have concurred.  I've seen a few majestic bucks this year, and I can only offer this advice......Run Bambi run...

Is this really Christmas??

Well, it's the day after Thanksgiving and it's the day the retail marketers, big box stores, and shopping experts have all decided is the day that all of America should be excited to join in the madness known as Black Friday.  Talk about a bunch of malarkey.....Who decided that this makes any sense at all, much less the way we should begin to celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ?

I can certainly understand it from the retailers' point of view.  They are in business to make money, and this shopping mania that has been artificially created helps to accomplish that goal.  For me, however, I absolutely refuse to participate.  Yes, the bargains are available, but so what?  You know, the best gift you can possibly give a person is not that item you rushed out to purchase at 4:30am on Friday morning, it's your love, your time, and your thoughtfulness throughout the year that really matters.

Don't get me wrong, I think we all should celebrate the Christmas Season and exchange gifts with our loved ones.  It's a tradition that can, and does, bring much joy to our lives.  There's nothing like seeing a child's eyes light up with excitement as they open that special gift. But, I've also seen the true tears of appreciation of someone opening that unexpected hand-knitted scarf that a friend made just for them.  Somehow we need to remove some of the crass commercialism that has invaded the very heart of the Holiday, and replace it with more of the Holy Spirit.

Living in a very rural part of the country, I can easily avoid the hordes of shoppers who flock like lemmings to the stores in the city.  It's much easier for me to shop in some of the local shops for unique gift ideas, and that's exactly what I intend to do.

My old arthritic hands could not begin to hand-knit a scarf, but perhaps I can take the kids out for a very special walk on Christmas night where we can look up at the clear skies, point to the brightest star we see, and tell the true story of Christmas.....something that seems to have fallen from grace in today's society. 

Sometimes it seems like this old cowboy is out of step with the rest of the world, but you know what?  I kinda like it that way.....but, what the heck do I know anyway.

It's all about trust...

I've been a jock just about as long as I can remember....at least I was until I got too old to perform anything even remotely close to athletic activity.  Since then, I've become more adept at appreciating the feats of the superb athletes on the tube.

There was a time, however, when I was in the fourth grade and a teacher called me aside during recess and said "Jack, you know you're really fast." and suggested that I run in the all city track meet. I did, and won a bright blue ribbon. How cool is this I thought to myself, and a new passion was born.  From that time forward I was proud to be known as a "jock".

What started as simply running fast turned into playing football, basketball, track and baseball.....looking back I have to think, how crazy was that?  Crazy yes, but great fun.

Last week, I was visiting with an old friend with whom I had shared high school exploits on the football field, and who I have known since the fourth grade.  In fact, my dad was our football coach when we first started to play.  Larry and I ended up playing on the same football teams from the fourth grade until our freshman year of college. 

We were, and still are very close....I was a running back and he was the fullback who cleared the way for my runs.  That forges a very special relationship, one of absolute trust and appreciation on my part, and for the fullback, the pride of knowing that without his key block, the touchdown never happens.  We had played together so long that he knew exactly when I was going to cut, and I knew exactly when he was going to throw the block.  I used to lay my hand on his back, knowing that he would sense it and take care of that inside linebacker who wanted nothing more than to take my head off.  He rarely missed the block.

For all of you out there who can't understand why "old jocks" seem to never tire of reliving old games, and never tire of seeing their old teammates, try to think of it in terms of a relationship that has endured the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Once you've given someone your absolute trust, and they have accepted the responsibility, the bond is hard to break.

Being a "jock" teaches a lot about responsibility, trust, teamwork, winning, losing, sportsmanship....and life. Some people look down on the "jocks" of the world, but some of the finest people I know wear that label, and one of them is my old fullback.  Many thanks Larry.