The circle of life....

Earlier today a life well lived came to an end. After 94 years, 3 months, and a few days a man whom I've admired for over forty years quietly took his last breath and ascended to the glorious hereafter.  Surrounded by family, it was a peaceful transition and his place in heaven is assured.

He was a man cut from the same cloth as many from his generation, honest, hard-working, and caring. If there was a job to be done, he willingly did it.  If there was a problem to be solved, he found a way to solve it. And, if there was a friend in need, he was the friend who answered the call.  When his country called him to war he readily served his duty, but on his return rarely made the time to talk of the experience. 

He was an intelligent man with a quick wit, a ready smile, and a kind word for all he met. He was active in his church and true to his God.  He worked hard at the same job for over thirty years, never complained, lived frugally, and provided a comfortable living for his wife and two daughters.  In the early fifties he built a modest house on an acre of land, and there he lived until his death.  It was a good house and he saw no reason to live anywhere else.  He bought used cars, took good care of them, and replaced them when needed. Nothing flashy, just dependable transportation, for he was a survivor of the great depression and the impact was evident.  He paid cash and didn't spend money on frivolous things. He appreciated things of quality and good value.

If anything he was organized to a fault, and a stroll through his garage or shop was truly an experience.  Every tool and implement was in its place and most had been labeled as to when they were purchased.  I used to think it was quirkiness on his part, but it's amazing how often we would look at the label to see how long ago he had purchased an item and what he had paid for it. Now that he's gone, those little handwritten labels will have new meaning.

His legacy has been written by the indelible marks he left on his family and his friends. There are no sons to carry forward the family name, but he will not soon be forgotten by those who knew him.  I learned much from this man and will miss him dearly. My father-in-law was as good of man as I've ever known.

The Husband of Doris, the Father of Elizabeth and Donna, the Grandfather to Jerod, Grant, and Sam, and the Great Grandfather to Jaxson, Elleigh, Lilah, and Wesley.  The void in our family cannot be filled.

God bless him and may he now rest in peace.

You boys looking for work....

I graduated from high school in 1969 and received a large suitcase from my parents as a graduation gift....what's that supposed to mean?  See ya!  Get the heck outta here and get a job!  No, I don't think that was their intention, but it certainly sent that message.  Remember that if you're considering luggage as a graduation gift.  Didn't matter, suitcase or no suitcase I had plans....big plans.

My cousin, Charles, who is a year older than me, had a friend who had talked to a friend, who knew a fellow working on a pipeline job in Texas.....and they're looking for summer help.  Sure they are, and we're just the guys for the job(s). 

Charles came to town for my graduation, and after the obligatory graduation parties were over, I packed my over sized suitcase with an ample supply of work clothes, work gloves, new Red Wing work boots, and of course.....clean underwear. Ready to go!

You ever hear of a place called Jacksboro, Texas?  Me neither, but that's where we headed in his bright red 1965 SS Chevelle.....a true "work vehicle" if you ever saw one.  Like many of my early road trips, the ride to Texas is kind of foggy, but we made it in time to check into the Green Frog Motel where we asked where we might find the pipeline office.  "It's a couple of miles outside of town, but you'll find most of guys across the road at the Green Frog Restaurant.  Time for dinner, I guess.

We met a couple of "regular" guys who assured us that if we were at the warehouse in the morning at 6:00am, ready to work, we would be hired.  So far so good.  Next morning, armed with new boots, new gloves, freshly packed lunch sacks (courtesy of the nice ladies at the Green Frog Restaurant)  we were at the office when it opened......"You boys looking for work?"  Duh, what was your first clue?  "You boys both 18?".....Uh oh, this might be a problem.  My birthday isn't until August...do I dare tell a little white lie.....I do, and we're hired.

"You, Jack you're going to be swamping for the set-up tractor so when we get out to the job site, ask for Howard"  "Yes Sir" what the heck is "swamping", and what the heck is a "set-up tractor" 

Without going into excruciating detail about the job, it consisted of stringing long joints of 12" pipe along side a deep trench. Suffice it to say it was physically demanding, mentally numbing, and just a tad bit more dangerous than I've ever let anyone know.  Six days each week, twelve hours each day, all summer long...

There were of course some benefits....number one, I made a lot of money for a seventeen year old kid, and number two, seeing the look on my football coaches' face when I checked in for fall practice.  He was literally astounded when I weighed in packing an extra 25 pounds of solid muscle... developed one day at a time, six days each week, twelve hours each day......



 

Great idea, Jack....

This year we waited to celebrate our family Christmas until the week after.  As our family has grown with the marriage of the boys we need to be flexible in sharing the special times around the Holidays.  So at times Christmas gets celebrated on New Years Day....not always a bad thing as it gives us an additional week to prepare for the festivities.  And, for those procrastinators among us, it provides an extra week to get the shopping done, and we can even take advantage of those "after Christmas" sales to save some money.

All that being said, I was confident that things would proceed without a hitch....and they did.....to a degree.

I've been told that I'm well past the age of sending letters to Santa, and that putting together a Christmas wish list is something that is frowned upon after about age ten.  What's that all about?  How the heck is Santa going to know what to leave under the tree if I don't give him a few hints?  Those of you who have read this blog since the beginning know that I have a history of holding out for that special Christmas present....regardless of the sacrifice.....what to do, what to do?

Facebook!  Everyone reads the posts and loves to keep up with the trials, tribulations, joys, sorrows, and perhaps the Christmas wants of their Friends.....great idea, Jack.

A few weeks ago I floated a trial balloon to judge the response.  Outstanding response to my "need" for a new pair of boots.  Now that several of my Friends were aware of my request, and even though Santa is not on my Friend list, surely he would get the word.  Just in case, however, I devised a back-up plan.

At my house we share the computers, and Miss Elizabeth and I both do a fair amount of on-line shopping. My back-up plan was executed without a flaw.  I found the boots at a popular western outfitter, available in my size and color, just click here.....simple enough to leave the web browser open to the appropriate page, and wait for "Santa" to discover just how easy it would be to make the purchase with delivery in time for Christmas.

Today is Monday, January 3rd and our family Christmas was a resounding success.  Kids and Grand kids ripped through their presents as we enjoyed the excitement of the moment.  Four generations gathered together at the ranch, and it was a blessing. 

Anticipation ran high as I awaited the delivery of those boots......I knew they were there somewhere....maybe not.....maybe next year.....or not.  After all, 'tis the season of giving, not receiving, and I truly enjoy doing that.

Just in case you're reading this, Santa.....Tony Lama, Lizard skin boots, size 11 1/2 medium width......I've been a real good boy......part of the time....I'm sure it was an oversight, but what do I know.

Where do we go from here...

It's 10:30 pm on Christmas night and I'm sitting upstairs, alone with my thoughts.  Miss Elizabeth has gone downstairs for a well deserved bath and bed as she is exhausted from the events of the past few weeks.  Not from the anticipation of the arrival of our family for the holidays, and not from the hustle and bustle of shopping, wrapping presents, and decorating the house.  No, this year the Holiday preparation has taken a backseat to more pressing needs.

When the parents' health begins to fail it changes everything, and it hits especially hard around the Holidays.

Everywhere you look there is joy and laughter, children anxiously anticipating Christmas morning, and all that goes with this festive time of the year.  But, when your own heart is laden with sadness, the festivities seem to ring hollow.

This year the concerns for Elizabeth and her sister, Donna, have been with her parents, both elderly, and both with the difficulties that often come with advancing years.  They are still in their own home, but recent events have impacted their ability to do the basic things needed to continue living there without assistance. The two daughters are both nurses and well qualified to deal with the medical decisions that are necessary, but they are also both daughters....who love their parents.  Where do we go from here?

Tough decisions await, and I've been there before. 

My mom passed away earlier this year after a long bout with Alzheimer's.....it was heartbreaking.

I've known my in-laws for nearly 45 years and they're like a second set of parents to me.  Selfishly, I don't want to go through this experience again, but I know God is in control and will guide us through what is to come.  On this day when we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, I pray to him for the strength to be there for Elizabeth and Donna.

The greatest pain one can experience is the pain of a loved one.

A sickness or a passion...you decide.

About twelve years ago I bought a 1969 Camaro for a Father/Son restoration project.  It was something my oldest son and I thought would be fun, and we dived right in.  Soon parts were strewn around the garage, old parts replaced with new parts, lots of modifications to the engine and drive train, and of course lots of canceled checks.

The car has been an on-again, off-again project for many years, with my son finally taking the reins to get it finished. And, now after three engines, completely new sheet metal, new paint, and new interior, it is nearing completion as a "brand new" 1969 Camaro.

But as they say, this wasn't my first rodeo, and I've owned many cars over the years. Just the other day I was talking to a friend about our first cars, and he asked me how many vehicles I had owned in my lifetime.....Don't know, never really thought about it.

Let's see if I can remember them all.

The first car I bought at age fifteen in 1967 was a 1957 Chevy Belair, and that's where the madness started.

1963 Chevy Impala SS 409CI, 4-Speed; 1964 Chevy Chevelle SS; 1967 Olds Cutlass Supreme; 1968 Triumph 650 Bonneville Motorcycle; 1971 Yamaha 250MX Motorcycle (yes, motorcycles count); 1972 Pontiac Ventura II; 1974 VW Super Beetle (first new car and first gas shortage); 1977 Chevy Scottsdale PU; 1978 Buick Regal Sport Turbo; 1967 Chevy Custom PU; 1981 Ford 4WD PU; 1982 Camaro Berlinetta; 1984 Buick Riviera; 1985 Jeep Cherokee; 1990 Nissan Maxima; 1992 Nissan Sentra SER; 1993 GMC 4WD PU; 1997 Toyota 4-Runner; 1969 Camaro; 2003 GMC 2500HD 4WD PU; 2007 GMC 4WDYukon; 2008 Polaris Ranger; and a 2008 Toyota FJ Cruiser!

Of course there were a few others during the time the boys started driving, a 1995 Jeep Wrangler, 1999 Mustang, then a replacement 1999 Mustang for the one that was wrecked.....all with my name on the title, but without my butt in the drivers seat.

As I look back at the list, each car or motorcycle elicits a memory about a different time or place in my life. The vehicles each had unique personality traits and quirks....and I suppose I do as well.  But, as I'm approaching the age of sixty, I think I've just about outgrown my passion for cars and motorcycles, but then again....I've had my eye on this really cool Porsche car.....you know like the Jerry Lee Lewis song Middle Age Crazy.

It may be a tough acquisition though as Miss Elizabeth has emphatically told me NO, something about it not being good on the gravel roads at the ranch.....but what does SHE know.

Integrity....it's a choice.

Tomorrow I will be attending an event where I will be introduced to a leadership program entitled Character First.  The program purports to teach companies, government organizations, non-profits, and even families how to introduce a "culture of integrity" to transform the decision making process.  Really!

I should probably wait until I've learned more about the program before commenting or making judgment regarding the content, however, one thing has me perplexed.  It's not that I don't wholeheartedly agree with trying to accomplish this feat.  In fact I think introducing the "culture of integrity" is a wonderful undertaking, and every business should operate with absolute integrity.

No, what has me perplexed is that any company, government organization, non-profit, or family should need to be taught such a basic tenet of life. 

Shouldn't integrity already be at the very heart and soul of every person, company, or family?  Shouldn't every decision we make already be based on whether or not it's morally and ethically correct?  And finally, if a person is not already living a life that's based on honesty, integrity, and trust can these traits be taught?  Most of us were introduced to these concepts at a very early age, and somewhere along the way made a conscious decision to either adopt them as our core values.....or not!

Successful businesses are built on relationships, and you cannot have strong relationships with your employees, your customers, your suppliers, or yes, even those who regulate your industry if they cannot have complete confidence that your word is as good as gold.  In other words, that you are a person of integrity, and your business operates in a manner that is beyond reproach.

It disturbs me greatly that in today's business environment we need to actually have a program teaching values that all of us should have acquired in kindergarten.....but as always, what do I know?

Simple pleasures...

Let's start with the premise that I see myself as a simple man.  It may or may not be true, but that's how I see it.  I enjoy the things that nature provides, like the playfulness of our two puppies, the mist rising above the pond on a frosty autumn morning, or when my horse nuzzles my jacket pocket looking for the apple wafer she usually finds hiding there.

I like coming inside with the aroma of chili or beef stew to welcome me home.  A fire crackling in the fireplace invites me to simply sit in the easy chair and let the stress of the day melt away. 

These simple pleasures bring joy to my life.

Relationships are also an important part of who I am, personal relationships, business relationships, lifelong friends, new found friends, and family.  Throughout my life it's those relationships that have nurtured and sustained me during the down times, helped me celebrate the good times, encouraged me to be the best I could be, and made me the person I am today....good or bad.

Valuable lessons were imparted not only by my parents, but also by teachers, coaches, bosses, subordinates, children, and of course Miss Elizabeth who has accompanied me on this journey for most of my life.  We met at age twelve, introduced by a mutual friend at the little league ball park, and have been together ever since.  Sometimes, there's just no reason to keep searching for the person who makes you whole, and she does that in every way.

Every now and then something happens that gives you pause and reminds you of just how fragile life is. Maybe it's the loss of a friend or family member, or maybe it's just a close call that gets you to thinking.

What if?

It's always been difficult for me to put into words how deeply I care for the people who are important in my life, so I rarely express those feelings.  Instead, I try every day to show it by my actions, even though I know that's not enough.

As we move toward Christmas and the anticipation of the New Year perhaps I can overcome that personal shortcoming.  No guarantee, but this year I'm going to strive to be a better husband, father, brother, and friend. Wish me luck on the journey......I think I'll need it.